28 Most Hilarious Lenny Bruce Quotes on Comedy, Politics, Religion, and Life

Asad Hanif
4 min readSep 24, 2022

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Lenny Bruce Quotes are the perfect pick-me-up for you to feel better when your day is not going how you want it. Leonard Alfred Schneider, better known by his stage name Lenny Bruce, was a 20th-century standup comedian, political satirist, and social critic whose work was dominated by crudity.

Lenny Bruce’s comedy style was pretty open and free mostly revolving around politics and religion.

Having the comedy on the tip of his nose, he was known for not holding anything back, uttering whatever he found suitable, and did not spare anybody from his roasting routine.

Lenny Bruce’s crude stand-up routine brought him a lot of attention as well as got him convicted in an obscenity trial in 1964. However, he received a posthumous pardon in the obscenity trial in 2003 proving to be a landmark for the freedom of speech in the United States.

Lenny Bruce was ranked third in Rolling Stone magazine’s list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.

Here we have compiled all the sarcastic, savage, and humorous quotes of Lenny Bruce to take you on a ride of laughter and giggles.

9 Satirical Lenny Bruce Quotes on Religion

Lenny Bruce’s standup routine mostly concentrated on satirical punches about politics and religion. His ridiculously straightforward commentary was equally loved and criticized by diverse segments of society. Here are eight most satirical Lenny Bruce quotes on religion to test your wit.

“Life is a four-letter word.”

“If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.”

“I’ll die young, but it’s like kissing God.”

“Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.”

“Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.”

“If you can’t say “Fu*k” you can’t say, Fuck the government.”

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.”

“I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.”

“If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.”

8 Most Savage Lenny Bruce Quotes on Politics and Comedy

What is comedy without a perfect blend of sarcasm and savagery? These two were the most highlighted aspects of Lenny Bruce’s standup routine. Here are eight of the most savage Lenny Bruce quotes on politics and comedy.

“Communism is like one big phone company.”

“There are never enough ‘I love you’s.”

“The ‘what should be’ never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no ‘what should be,’ there is only what is.”

“I’m not a comedian. And I’m not sick. The world is sick, and I’m the doctor. I’m a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.”

“I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.”

“The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.”

“I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do.”

“A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.”

11 of my favorite Lenny Bruce Quotes

Out of all the Lenny Bruce quotes and sayings, we have compiled 11 of my most favorite quotes. These 11 quotes perfectly define the thought process of the ever so witty and sarcastic comedian and his views on politics, religion, comedy, and life.

“Today, I give my daughter what I really didn’t have as a kid: all the silly, dumb, extravagant, frilly, nonfunctional toys I can force on her. She probably wants an encyclopedia.”

“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”

“The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.”

“In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.”

“The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour — ha ha ha ha ha — they’ll take you away, man. You can’t.”

“The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.”

“There’s a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can’t make any bread helping the poor.”

“It’s the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.”

“The “what should be” never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no “what should be,” there is only what it is.”

“Just because some jackass is an Atheist doesn’t mean that his prophets and Gods are any less false.”

“If you live in New York, then, whether you’re a hundred times a Catholic, you’re still a Jew.”

Let’s keep the conversation going on and share with us your favorite Lenny Bruce quotes in the comments. If you are more of a spiritual kind of person and sarcasm and comedy are not your cup of tea, you can check out our compilation of Joel Osteen’s quotes.

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Asad Hanif
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His enthusiasm for winning on problems and creating possibilities comes from his childhood dreams which he utilizes to paves his way into realities.